Throwing A Divorce Party

While they’re not for everyone, a divorce party can turn an unhappy occasion into a positive event. It can be a celebration of a new beginning, a fresh start to the new phase in your life.

A good divorce party should be fun and cathartic; it must be done tastefully and it must come from a healthy and positive place. If it doesn’t, it will make your guests feel uncomfortable. And the only thing worse than a bad party? A bad divorce party. Seriously stinky.

Planning a good divorce party is much harder than in sounds. In fact, not everyone can do it for themselves; many can’t. And that’s where an expert party planner can help. A divorce party gone off the rails can have the exact opposite effect of what you’re looking to achieve. If your emotions might get the better of you, you are infinitely better off hiring someone to plan it for you.

If you are absolutely sure you can do it without weeping, cursing, badmouthing, drinking, or any kind of bitterness, then absolutely, you are the perfect candidate to plan your own divorce party.

Some people put as much planning into the divorce party as they do their wedding. And where the divorce is amicable, some divorcing couples choose to hold joint parties. That’s definitely not for everyone, but fine for some. 

The point is, it’s really about how you handle it. Whatever type of celebration you ultimately choose, if the event is handled with grace and one eye always planted on the goal, it can help launch you and those you love into closure about what otherwise might be a very painful time.

Here are a few of the many things to keep in mind for your divorce party:

- Be realistic about your emotions. A divorce party isn’t for everyone. If it’s something you’d like to do, really think through what you are hoping to get out of it as well as what you want your guests to get out of it before you do anything else.

- Determine if a divorce party is something you can plan for yourself or if you’d like to have it professionally organized. You’re going through a lot of stress. Will the work of a party be a welcome distraction? or would it be better turned over to a trusted professional during this busy time?

- Think of a theme. It’s important to have a sense of what you want your party to say early in the planning. Otherwise, it can be very jarring.

- Plan for games and activities. No one wants to sit around mulling about broken marriages. The party should be about new beginnings.

- Give your guests the opportunity to be thoughtful. You may have a guest book that people can sign, leaving you hopeful messages or a keepsake box with pictures they bring. These may be important to you on tough days and will make them feel like they are doing something constructive and helpful.

- Be careful whom you invite. No kids, please. Your former mother-in-law might also not appreciate an invitation.

- Champagne is a nice touch and completely appropriate. But be careful of alcohol intake. Boozy affairs can sometimes turn into maudlin ones. Make sure to keep things light and serve plenty of food to go with the alcohol.

- Consider having a professional serving staff and bartender to ensure you and your guests are well taken care of. You likely took good care of your guests at your wedding. A beautifully executed party lets everyone know you’re moving on and will be just fine. A bartender can also help you deal with any problem drinkers or anyone whose emotions might lead to over indulgence.   

With about half of marriages ending in divorce (yes, that stat is right), a divorce party isn’t the novelty it once was. It’s becoming the accepted norm and it helps many people regain control over their lives in what feels like an out of control time. Just remember to keep your divorce party less about endings and more about beginnings.

Do it right, and it will launch you into a new and exciting stage in your life. And that’s worth celebrating, don’t you think?